Showing posts with label Bible Study. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bible Study. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
More than a Good Bible Study Girl
This book is an amazing book! I love Lysa' stories about the 80s and family living, but more importantly, she writes about the same issues and struggles I face in my daily walk with God. I, too, feel a lot of doubt about my relationship with God. How can I matter to Him? I am so much of a mess and a failure. Yet, Lysa helps redirect my study and thinking to God's Word. Through her writing, she challenges me to become more than a girl who has a stack of devotional books, attends/leads Bible studies, do a lot of church activities and have a completely checked off to do list. She challenges me to strive to live my faith rather than add to my resume of Good Bible Study Girl. A life with God is so much more than my check list!
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Colossians Chapter 1
Colossaians 1:4-6 (NLT)
4 For we have heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and your love for all of God’s people, 5 which come from your confident hope of what God has reserved for you in heaven. You have had this expectation ever since you first heard the truth of the Good News.
6 This same Good News that came to you is going out all over the world. It is bearing fruit everywhere by changing lives, just as it changed your lives from the day you first heard and understood the truth about God’s wonderful grace.
Colossians 1:5a (The Message)
The lines of purpose in your lives never grow slack, tightly tied as they are to your future in heaven, kept taut by hope.
Purpose of life? What is my purpose or role? Of course, a lot does depend on Dana's employment. Here is what I know though. My faith is weak. I am not obedient as I should be as a result of my weak faith and trust in God. I like to think that I have it all in my power and control to decide and manage life. Right! With my disobedient and poor decisions come great and severe consequences. So worry, guilt, shame and even worse mount up against me and leave me feeling powerless and just stuck-unmotivated. I am faced with acknowledging that the source of my anxiety (no peace), my joylessness, my irritablity (no gentleness, patience, kindness or mercy) is that I am not close to God! That is a horrible thing to admit. Sure, I can say all the right words and seem holy. Sure, I can keep myself beyond busy with God-related activities but it is all hollow- empty!
Where is the hope? I know Jesus and the Good News from the time I was a child. But I have lost sight of the faith and the hope and the fruit found from being close to Jesus.
Colossians 1:9-12 (NLT)
9 ... We ask God to give you complete knowledge of his will and to give you spiritual wisdom and understanding. 10 Then the way you live will always honor and please the Lord, and your lives will produce every kind of good fruit. All the while, you will grow as you learn to know God better and better.
11 We also pray that you will be strengthened with all his glorious power so you will have all the endurance and patience you need. May you be filled with joy,[a] 12 always thanking the Father...
I need and want in my life:
Knowledge of God's Will
Spiritual Wisdom
to Know the way to live so that God is honored and pleased
Produce Good Fruit - peace, joy, kindness, love,etc.
Know God better and better- Abide with Him, Curl up and intimately know Him
Be strengthened
See God's Glorious Power
Have joy, endurance and patience.
Hope
"ASK" - translated pray. Lord, please help me to know and understand Your Will for me and for my family.I want to follow Your Will for my role and purpose. I need lots of wisdom: Wisdom to raise kids, lead ministry, be a godly wife, be a faithful, loving and obedient daughter to You. Please reveal to my heart and mind how I should live to glorify and honor You in my family's lives and in my home. I want to be known by my patience, my kindness, my gentleness and my love. Not by the lack of it all. I want my family to benefit and be blessed by the fruits of the Spirit. Help me in my thirst and desire for knowing You more intimately so that I can be strengthened by Your glorious power and have teh endurance and patience to withstand life's difficulties and my failures. Help me to find and count the joys in life no matter what my reality is for each day. Remind me of the hope I have from faith and knowledge of You and life to come. You are a faithful God, loving and providing for me always. You have never failed me or disappointed me. You are glorious and wondeful. I do love You, God! How awesome You are. Thank You for Your faithfulness and provision for my life. In Jesus' Name, Amen.
4 For we have heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and your love for all of God’s people, 5 which come from your confident hope of what God has reserved for you in heaven. You have had this expectation ever since you first heard the truth of the Good News.
6 This same Good News that came to you is going out all over the world. It is bearing fruit everywhere by changing lives, just as it changed your lives from the day you first heard and understood the truth about God’s wonderful grace.
Colossians 1:5a (The Message)
The lines of purpose in your lives never grow slack, tightly tied as they are to your future in heaven, kept taut by hope.
Purpose of life? What is my purpose or role? Of course, a lot does depend on Dana's employment. Here is what I know though. My faith is weak. I am not obedient as I should be as a result of my weak faith and trust in God. I like to think that I have it all in my power and control to decide and manage life. Right! With my disobedient and poor decisions come great and severe consequences. So worry, guilt, shame and even worse mount up against me and leave me feeling powerless and just stuck-unmotivated. I am faced with acknowledging that the source of my anxiety (no peace), my joylessness, my irritablity (no gentleness, patience, kindness or mercy) is that I am not close to God! That is a horrible thing to admit. Sure, I can say all the right words and seem holy. Sure, I can keep myself beyond busy with God-related activities but it is all hollow- empty!
Where is the hope? I know Jesus and the Good News from the time I was a child. But I have lost sight of the faith and the hope and the fruit found from being close to Jesus.
Colossians 1:9-12 (NLT)
9 ... We ask God to give you complete knowledge of his will and to give you spiritual wisdom and understanding. 10 Then the way you live will always honor and please the Lord, and your lives will produce every kind of good fruit. All the while, you will grow as you learn to know God better and better.
11 We also pray that you will be strengthened with all his glorious power so you will have all the endurance and patience you need. May you be filled with joy,[a] 12 always thanking the Father...
I need and want in my life:
Knowledge of God's Will
Spiritual Wisdom
to Know the way to live so that God is honored and pleased
Produce Good Fruit - peace, joy, kindness, love,etc.
Know God better and better- Abide with Him, Curl up and intimately know Him
Be strengthened
See God's Glorious Power
Have joy, endurance and patience.
Hope
"ASK" - translated pray. Lord, please help me to know and understand Your Will for me and for my family.I want to follow Your Will for my role and purpose. I need lots of wisdom: Wisdom to raise kids, lead ministry, be a godly wife, be a faithful, loving and obedient daughter to You. Please reveal to my heart and mind how I should live to glorify and honor You in my family's lives and in my home. I want to be known by my patience, my kindness, my gentleness and my love. Not by the lack of it all. I want my family to benefit and be blessed by the fruits of the Spirit. Help me in my thirst and desire for knowing You more intimately so that I can be strengthened by Your glorious power and have teh endurance and patience to withstand life's difficulties and my failures. Help me to find and count the joys in life no matter what my reality is for each day. Remind me of the hope I have from faith and knowledge of You and life to come. You are a faithful God, loving and providing for me always. You have never failed me or disappointed me. You are glorious and wondeful. I do love You, God! How awesome You are. Thank You for Your faithfulness and provision for my life. In Jesus' Name, Amen.
The Valley of Berachah
Often as I check in with the blogs I have kept as my favorites or get the few remaining blog updates in my inbox, I read something that bears further thought and study. If I am lucky, that happens sometime during that day. Otherwise, I get to it when I stumble across my notes about what I read. Which is what happened yesterday. I had every intention of journaling about what I read in Colossians (thanks to Lysa TerKeurst's online discussion study of said book) when I stumbled across some scribbled notes about powerlessness, victory and bridges in 2 Chronicles 20:1-24. I was drawn to these notes as I am feeling somewhat powerless over what the future of Dana's employment with this company and what exactly am I suppose to do in life - Did I mention that yesterday was my 43rd birthday? That sounds so old and I feel so immature and uncertain like a young girl. Where, oh, where, is maturity and confidence? I digress.
So I wanted to know more about how to experience victory over powerlessness. The story picks up with Jehoshaphat looking at the armies of Moab and the armies of the Ammonites among OTHERS about to attack the Israelites. Can you imagine so many against you at one time? Well, I can. That is my life! My weaknesses, my sin, insecurities, trials and worries of mothering two blessings, household management in this economy with the threat of unemployment, tying to be a better wife that someone like Dana deserves plus the demands and expectations of children's minsitry - Don't even go there with the feelings of failure and inadequacey! I feel such immense powerlessness just as the Jehoshaphat must have.
Look at what happens in 2 Chronicles 20:4-24 NIV (with some editing by me)
4 The people of Judah came together to seek help from the LORD.....6 and said:
"O LORD, Our God .... You rule over all the kingdoms of the nations. Power and might are in your hand, and no one can withstand you. ......9b we will stand in your presence ....and will cry out to you in our distress, and you will hear us and save us.' .....
12 O our God, ... we have no power to face this vast army that is attacking us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are upon you."
There is the POWERLESSNESS! I do not know what to do, Lord!
15 ..... This is what the LORD says to you: 'Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God's. .... 17 You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the LORD will give you, .... Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the LORD will be with you.' "
20.... Have faith in the LORD your God and you will be upheld; have faith ... and you will be successful." 21 .....sing to the LORD and to praise him for the splendor of his holiness ....
"Give thanks to the LORD,
for his love endures forever."
This is the BRIDGE! The way to victory!
22 As they began to sing and praise, the LORD set ambushes against (the enemies), and they were defeated. 23 .... destroyed and annihilated.
25 .... plunder,... more than they could take away.... 26 ....assembled in the Valley of Beracah (Valley of Praises), where they praised the LORD.
27 Then, .... (all) returned joyfully ...., for the LORD had given them cause to rejoice over their enemies.
Here is the VICTORY! Overcoming and conquering the enemies of my life!
What I get from this passage is this reminder-- My battles are not mine alone. The battle belongs to God, who is all powerful and mighty to conquer! I am powerless to conquer my enemies, the battles and trials of my life alone. I am constantly trying to go it alone and take care of everything alone. I always end up defeated, pushed down and pushed back. Defeated with only more pity, more frustration, more discouragement and more fear. The battle belongs to God, who is all powerful and mighty to conquer!
Here is the sad part of everything- I know who is my Savior and my Protector. I know what I should do to get help but I don't... sigh
Look what Jehoshaphat reminds me to do... Look to God, Seek Him. Alone I don't have a clue as to what to do or how to manage but God does. God, I am sorry for when I don't cry out to You. I don't trust You to take care of everything. I should know that You are always here for me-always! I am sorry that I get so afraid and so incredibly discouraged about so much of my life! I don't want to be afraid and discouraged! I want to be able to stand firm and watch You do Your mighty and glorious work in my life and in the lives of my family! Amen
I do not have a passive role in this battle. I should be praising God! I should be watching and recognizing the power, might and splendor of God at work and praising Him for all of His love for me and my family!
The means of my leaving my powerlessness behind me and moving on to victory- PRAISES! PRAISES and thanksgiving to God for His love endures forever. His love will last and always be present no matter what! I must turn my sight, my focus to Him, have faith and be aware of His glorious work in my life. PRAISE GOD! I should be living in the Valley of Beracah ! I should name the things I am grateful for daily despite my circumstances, despite my reality. PRAISE GOD!
Victory will be mine because God will ambush, destroy, annihilate my worries, my frustrations, my sin, my weaknesses, my failures, my lack of faith and trust, my insecurities. I will no long be powerless over these things, but finding victories in life because the I stood firm, sought God with faith and watched and praise Him for His love, might and power endure forever. The Valley of Beracah sounds like a lovely place to be settled. Praises and joy that comes from seeking and focusing on God's glory and work in my life against my enemeies. It is time to cross that bridge from powerlessness to victory against the enemies of my life.
Ephesians 6:10-12 (NIV)
10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. 12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
1 Corinthians 16:13 (NET)
Stay alert. Stand firm in the faith. Show courage.Be strong.
Isaiah 25:1 (NIV)
O LORD, you are my God;
I will exalt you and praise your name,
for in perfect faithfulness
you have done marvelous things,
things planned long ago.
Psalm 63:1-5
1 O God, you are my God,
earnestly I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you,
my body longs for you,
in a dry and weary land
where there is no water.
2 I have seen you in the sanctuary
and beheld your power and your glory.
3 Because your love is better than life,
my lips will glorify you.
4 I will praise you as long as I live,
and in your name I will lift up my hands.
5 My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods;
with singing lips my mouth will praise you.
So I wanted to know more about how to experience victory over powerlessness. The story picks up with Jehoshaphat looking at the armies of Moab and the armies of the Ammonites among OTHERS about to attack the Israelites. Can you imagine so many against you at one time? Well, I can. That is my life! My weaknesses, my sin, insecurities, trials and worries of mothering two blessings, household management in this economy with the threat of unemployment, tying to be a better wife that someone like Dana deserves plus the demands and expectations of children's minsitry - Don't even go there with the feelings of failure and inadequacey! I feel such immense powerlessness just as the Jehoshaphat must have.
Look at what happens in 2 Chronicles 20:4-24 NIV (with some editing by me)
4 The people of Judah came together to seek help from the LORD.....6 and said:
"O LORD, Our God .... You rule over all the kingdoms of the nations. Power and might are in your hand, and no one can withstand you. ......9b we will stand in your presence ....and will cry out to you in our distress, and you will hear us and save us.' .....
12 O our God, ... we have no power to face this vast army that is attacking us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are upon you."
There is the POWERLESSNESS! I do not know what to do, Lord!
15 ..... This is what the LORD says to you: 'Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God's. .... 17 You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the LORD will give you, .... Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the LORD will be with you.' "
20.... Have faith in the LORD your God and you will be upheld; have faith ... and you will be successful." 21 .....sing to the LORD and to praise him for the splendor of his holiness ....
"Give thanks to the LORD,
for his love endures forever."
This is the BRIDGE! The way to victory!
22 As they began to sing and praise, the LORD set ambushes against (the enemies), and they were defeated. 23 .... destroyed and annihilated.
25 .... plunder,... more than they could take away.... 26 ....assembled in the Valley of Beracah (Valley of Praises), where they praised the LORD.
27 Then, .... (all) returned joyfully ...., for the LORD had given them cause to rejoice over their enemies.
Here is the VICTORY! Overcoming and conquering the enemies of my life!
What I get from this passage is this reminder-- My battles are not mine alone. The battle belongs to God, who is all powerful and mighty to conquer! I am powerless to conquer my enemies, the battles and trials of my life alone. I am constantly trying to go it alone and take care of everything alone. I always end up defeated, pushed down and pushed back. Defeated with only more pity, more frustration, more discouragement and more fear. The battle belongs to God, who is all powerful and mighty to conquer!
Here is the sad part of everything- I know who is my Savior and my Protector. I know what I should do to get help but I don't... sigh
Look what Jehoshaphat reminds me to do... Look to God, Seek Him. Alone I don't have a clue as to what to do or how to manage but God does. God, I am sorry for when I don't cry out to You. I don't trust You to take care of everything. I should know that You are always here for me-always! I am sorry that I get so afraid and so incredibly discouraged about so much of my life! I don't want to be afraid and discouraged! I want to be able to stand firm and watch You do Your mighty and glorious work in my life and in the lives of my family! Amen
I do not have a passive role in this battle. I should be praising God! I should be watching and recognizing the power, might and splendor of God at work and praising Him for all of His love for me and my family!
The means of my leaving my powerlessness behind me and moving on to victory- PRAISES! PRAISES and thanksgiving to God for His love endures forever. His love will last and always be present no matter what! I must turn my sight, my focus to Him, have faith and be aware of His glorious work in my life. PRAISE GOD! I should be living in the Valley of Beracah ! I should name the things I am grateful for daily despite my circumstances, despite my reality. PRAISE GOD!
Victory will be mine because God will ambush, destroy, annihilate my worries, my frustrations, my sin, my weaknesses, my failures, my lack of faith and trust, my insecurities. I will no long be powerless over these things, but finding victories in life because the I stood firm, sought God with faith and watched and praise Him for His love, might and power endure forever. The Valley of Beracah sounds like a lovely place to be settled. Praises and joy that comes from seeking and focusing on God's glory and work in my life against my enemeies. It is time to cross that bridge from powerlessness to victory against the enemies of my life.
Ephesians 6:10-12 (NIV)
10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. 12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
1 Corinthians 16:13 (NET)
Stay alert. Stand firm in the faith. Show courage.Be strong.
Isaiah 25:1 (NIV)
O LORD, you are my God;
I will exalt you and praise your name,
for in perfect faithfulness
you have done marvelous things,
things planned long ago.
Psalm 63:1-5
1 O God, you are my God,
earnestly I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you,
my body longs for you,
in a dry and weary land
where there is no water.
2 I have seen you in the sanctuary
and beheld your power and your glory.
3 Because your love is better than life,
my lips will glorify you.
4 I will praise you as long as I live,
and in your name I will lift up my hands.
5 My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods;
with singing lips my mouth will praise you.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Becoming More than a Good Bible Study Girl
Flashback to this past August, 2009. I was traveling six hours with my hubby and kids to visit my family and take my mom to a Beth Moore simulcast. Right before we left, my preordered and much anticipated book, Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl arrived in the mail. Woohoo!!! The van packed with my sweet little ones and their DVDs and a loving hubby to do all the driving and we set off. I opened my book before we got out of the driveway and settled in for the drive. For almost 6 hours I spent some girl time with my bloggy friend, Lysa TerKeurst, and reminisced about the 80s. Like, is there any other decade?! I read and reread and underlined - okay, underlining was kind of hard in a moving van, but I marked all of the words that were so me. Needless to say, there was a lot of marking going on. I even read sections aloud to my patient hubby who loves me so much that he let me read on this long trip. Did I mention that he willingly took on full kid duty all of Friday night and Saturday morning while I was at the simulcast? Anyway, I got a great hunk - much better than Rick Springfield and Tom Selleck combined!
I had read What Happens When Women Say Yes to God earlier in the year and had written on an index card a prayer that Lysa shared in that book. She shared it again in this new book: "God, I want to see You. God, I want to hear You. God, I want to know You. So that I can follow hard after You everyday." This prayer is now my daily prayer. I actually repeat it a few times a day. I realized as I read this book that my actions and my words may appear to be set on God. I do a lot of children's and MOPS ministry work every week but my one on one, just me and God relationship was not at all where it should be, especially if I am a ministry leader. Using Colossians 3:1-2, Lysa reminded me that my heart and my mind should be set on God. His truth should should totally change me. I should not be the same if I am getting my heart and mind daily set in God's Word and His Will for me.
Despite all my efforts and good intentions with children's ministry and MOPS, I was never filling totally satisfied. I was trying to find my signifigance through these good and Godly things, but I was unfullfilled. I felt like a fake and not effective in these ministries. I could say all the right words and even be sincere, however, deep down in my inner most parts, I knew that I was, as Lysa said, a hollow woman, not a holy one. Jesus was the only thing that could satisfy and fullfill me, but I was not there with Him. My time with Jesus was crowded out by all the many demands of motherhood, children's ministry, MOPS, just daily living. I put getting ready for Sunday morning children's programming and MOPS meetings ahead of my daily time with God and even my family. To make matters worse, Sundays were so crazy busy that I didn't get out of the children's department to go to worship. I was depleted and not finding any source of refreshment from God. I made some really not great decisions and my unhappiness and frustration with myself only increased. So I buried myself in more ministry and good deeds for others to find my fullfillment and satisfaction with life, with myself. Now armed with my daily prayer of seeking God, anticipating hearing from Him and expecting to know His Will for me has challenged me to intentionally make my time with God a priority and a special time of the morning. I am not perfect at keeping my daily appointment with Him. Kids waking often in the night make it hard to get up at 5am. But I really miss and long for that time of quiet conversation with God when I don't sit with Him in the mornings.
Lysa is the kind of friend I would want to take shopping with me. She would not be afraid to tell me that those much coveted tapered leg Zena jeans don't look good on me. I know this because she is the kind of friend who challenged me and told me with all honesty that despite all the wonderful ministry things I did, Bible studies and conferences I attended, how godly my husband was, etc. that I needed to make some personal changes with my relationship with God. I need an undivided heart. Psalm 86:11 "Teach me your way, O Lord, and I will walk in Your truth;give me an undivided heart , that I may fear your name."On the return trip home, I was reading the chapter, "Unlikely Lessons From a Pineapple" when a God thing happened. For several weeks, verses regarding waiting kept cropping up in daily devotionals from Proverbs 31 Ministries and other places. Beth Moore shared at the simulcast about waiting on God from Psalms 37. Then I read about David and Goliath in Chapter 6. David was sent back to the fields after being annointed king to wait on God's timing. Here again in the midst of this book, I was hit again with the notion that I need to wait on God. Allow Him to prepare me where I was with the things I needed to do what He had in store for me. I was in tears on I-65. I so wanted to hear and know more about God's Will for me. I longed to climb up in His lap and have Him reassure me that I was loved and He had it all in control. I didn't have to worry and try to arrange everything all on my own.
Fast Forward to March, 2010. I have read this book twice now. I laughed and cried through this book. Each reading uncovered another challenge and discrepancy in my relationship with God. Yet, I was encouraged to keep going and seeking Him because He was waiting for me and wanting me to come closer. The decisions and my attitude is not always the best still, but I am filling myself and arming myself with God's Word. I am letting it rearrange me, change me and it feels great. Psalm 119:30-32, "I have chosen the way of the truth: I have set my heart on Your laws. I hold fast to Your statutes, O Lord; do not let me be put to shame. I run in the path of Your commands, for You have set my heart free."
I posted some entries in October and Novemeber about the first three chapters as I participated in an online study. Life happens and prevented further postings but I continued with writing my thoughts and prayers in my journal. I am so excited to lead two groups in a study with Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl beginning this week! This book has blessed me and continues to bless me and I pray that the women who read this book are as challenged to be more than just a good Bible study girl.
I had read What Happens When Women Say Yes to God earlier in the year and had written on an index card a prayer that Lysa shared in that book. She shared it again in this new book: "God, I want to see You. God, I want to hear You. God, I want to know You. So that I can follow hard after You everyday." This prayer is now my daily prayer. I actually repeat it a few times a day. I realized as I read this book that my actions and my words may appear to be set on God. I do a lot of children's and MOPS ministry work every week but my one on one, just me and God relationship was not at all where it should be, especially if I am a ministry leader. Using Colossians 3:1-2, Lysa reminded me that my heart and my mind should be set on God. His truth should should totally change me. I should not be the same if I am getting my heart and mind daily set in God's Word and His Will for me.
Despite all my efforts and good intentions with children's ministry and MOPS, I was never filling totally satisfied. I was trying to find my signifigance through these good and Godly things, but I was unfullfilled. I felt like a fake and not effective in these ministries. I could say all the right words and even be sincere, however, deep down in my inner most parts, I knew that I was, as Lysa said, a hollow woman, not a holy one. Jesus was the only thing that could satisfy and fullfill me, but I was not there with Him. My time with Jesus was crowded out by all the many demands of motherhood, children's ministry, MOPS, just daily living. I put getting ready for Sunday morning children's programming and MOPS meetings ahead of my daily time with God and even my family. To make matters worse, Sundays were so crazy busy that I didn't get out of the children's department to go to worship. I was depleted and not finding any source of refreshment from God. I made some really not great decisions and my unhappiness and frustration with myself only increased. So I buried myself in more ministry and good deeds for others to find my fullfillment and satisfaction with life, with myself. Now armed with my daily prayer of seeking God, anticipating hearing from Him and expecting to know His Will for me has challenged me to intentionally make my time with God a priority and a special time of the morning. I am not perfect at keeping my daily appointment with Him. Kids waking often in the night make it hard to get up at 5am. But I really miss and long for that time of quiet conversation with God when I don't sit with Him in the mornings.
Lysa is the kind of friend I would want to take shopping with me. She would not be afraid to tell me that those much coveted tapered leg Zena jeans don't look good on me. I know this because she is the kind of friend who challenged me and told me with all honesty that despite all the wonderful ministry things I did, Bible studies and conferences I attended, how godly my husband was, etc. that I needed to make some personal changes with my relationship with God. I need an undivided heart. Psalm 86:11 "Teach me your way, O Lord, and I will walk in Your truth;give me an undivided heart , that I may fear your name."On the return trip home, I was reading the chapter, "Unlikely Lessons From a Pineapple" when a God thing happened. For several weeks, verses regarding waiting kept cropping up in daily devotionals from Proverbs 31 Ministries and other places. Beth Moore shared at the simulcast about waiting on God from Psalms 37. Then I read about David and Goliath in Chapter 6. David was sent back to the fields after being annointed king to wait on God's timing. Here again in the midst of this book, I was hit again with the notion that I need to wait on God. Allow Him to prepare me where I was with the things I needed to do what He had in store for me. I was in tears on I-65. I so wanted to hear and know more about God's Will for me. I longed to climb up in His lap and have Him reassure me that I was loved and He had it all in control. I didn't have to worry and try to arrange everything all on my own.
Fast Forward to March, 2010. I have read this book twice now. I laughed and cried through this book. Each reading uncovered another challenge and discrepancy in my relationship with God. Yet, I was encouraged to keep going and seeking Him because He was waiting for me and wanting me to come closer. The decisions and my attitude is not always the best still, but I am filling myself and arming myself with God's Word. I am letting it rearrange me, change me and it feels great. Psalm 119:30-32, "I have chosen the way of the truth: I have set my heart on Your laws. I hold fast to Your statutes, O Lord; do not let me be put to shame. I run in the path of Your commands, for You have set my heart free."
I posted some entries in October and Novemeber about the first three chapters as I participated in an online study. Life happens and prevented further postings but I continued with writing my thoughts and prayers in my journal. I am so excited to lead two groups in a study with Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl beginning this week! This book has blessed me and continues to bless me and I pray that the women who read this book are as challenged to be more than just a good Bible study girl.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Gratitude
Oh, for the grace and mercy of my heavenly Father! He is faithful to me!
I give you all the credit, God- You got me out of that mess(again for today), You didn't let (Satan gloat over my sins). God, my God, I yelled for help and you put me together. God, you pulled me out of the grave (one I dug myself), gave me another chance (for today) when I was down-and-out. All you saints! Sing your hearts out to God! Thank Him face to face! He gets angry once in awhile (as well He should with me) but across (my) lifetime there is (and has been) only love. The nights of crying your eyes out give way to days of laughter...... I called out to You, O God; I laid my case before You; ....So listen! and be kind! Help me out of this! You did it(again); You changed wild lament into whirling dance; You ripped off my black mourning band and decked me with wildflowers. I'm about to burst out with song; I can't keep quiet about You. God, my God, I can't thank You enough. Psalm 30 (The Message) parantheses are mine.
God is a faithful God. He has always proven faithful to me. I often didn't understand and don't always understand why things happen. When my parents encountered another Christian who dealt them a bad, dishonest business agreement with no recourse for justice in this world which resulted in lots of financial difficulties for our family, God was faithful and provided and provided! Praise God!
When I left home for the very first time to teach out of state even! God provided the most amazing school principal - he proclaimed Jesus to the graduating fifth graders and their families - in a public school with the superintendent there! What a testimony to his faith! I knew during the phone interview to set up the face to face interview that this was the man I wanted to work for and with. God provided the opportunity and the peace within my heart to say "YES!". Over and over during those three years, God proved, such as with that first graduation ceremony, His provision to be faithful for my good. God provided through one relationship to be faithful in leading me to discover the man He chose for my lifelong friend and partner in life. While the pain is almost unbearable in the midst of the death of a relationship, He was faithful in providing good friends who loved me and were supportive, including the man, I later married. So much more to that story and yes, the guy I broke up with was in our wedding. Afterall, he was a good friend to both my darling, hunky man and to me. God is faithful. When my precious Daddy died so unexpectedly while he and Momma were out of the country, God was faithful in providing Christians to minister to my mom before my brother could get to her. God is amazing! He provided so many opportunities for darling, hunky husband and I to travel for business/pleasure and to do ministry abroad and locally that we would not have been able to do if we had children. In the midst of the heart ache of infertility for eleven years, God was faithful. He was faithful in answering the desires of our hearts and prayers with two amazing children! Oh, my God is faithful! Even today, God is faithful in hearing my pleas and prayers. Despite my sin, my rebellion, my unworthiness of His mercy, forgiveness and love, He is faithful! My God is faithful! I praise Him for this day and His faithfulness today!
Today I am grateful for:
36. Another day with a job!
37. Sunshine to play outside in.
38. Hot dogs and hair cuts with my little man.
39. Beth Moore's wise words from Psalm 37.
40. God's faithfulness and love for someone such as I.
41. Warm bubble baths and hot tea.
42. My hunky, darling husband who has such faith- How I deserved him? God must think that I am precious to be given so great a man.
I give you all the credit, God- You got me out of that mess(again for today), You didn't let (Satan gloat over my sins). God, my God, I yelled for help and you put me together. God, you pulled me out of the grave (one I dug myself), gave me another chance (for today) when I was down-and-out. All you saints! Sing your hearts out to God! Thank Him face to face! He gets angry once in awhile (as well He should with me) but across (my) lifetime there is (and has been) only love. The nights of crying your eyes out give way to days of laughter...... I called out to You, O God; I laid my case before You; ....So listen! and be kind! Help me out of this! You did it(again); You changed wild lament into whirling dance; You ripped off my black mourning band and decked me with wildflowers. I'm about to burst out with song; I can't keep quiet about You. God, my God, I can't thank You enough. Psalm 30 (The Message) parantheses are mine.
God is a faithful God. He has always proven faithful to me. I often didn't understand and don't always understand why things happen. When my parents encountered another Christian who dealt them a bad, dishonest business agreement with no recourse for justice in this world which resulted in lots of financial difficulties for our family, God was faithful and provided and provided! Praise God!
When I left home for the very first time to teach out of state even! God provided the most amazing school principal - he proclaimed Jesus to the graduating fifth graders and their families - in a public school with the superintendent there! What a testimony to his faith! I knew during the phone interview to set up the face to face interview that this was the man I wanted to work for and with. God provided the opportunity and the peace within my heart to say "YES!". Over and over during those three years, God proved, such as with that first graduation ceremony, His provision to be faithful for my good. God provided through one relationship to be faithful in leading me to discover the man He chose for my lifelong friend and partner in life. While the pain is almost unbearable in the midst of the death of a relationship, He was faithful in providing good friends who loved me and were supportive, including the man, I later married. So much more to that story and yes, the guy I broke up with was in our wedding. Afterall, he was a good friend to both my darling, hunky man and to me. God is faithful. When my precious Daddy died so unexpectedly while he and Momma were out of the country, God was faithful in providing Christians to minister to my mom before my brother could get to her. God is amazing! He provided so many opportunities for darling, hunky husband and I to travel for business/pleasure and to do ministry abroad and locally that we would not have been able to do if we had children. In the midst of the heart ache of infertility for eleven years, God was faithful. He was faithful in answering the desires of our hearts and prayers with two amazing children! Oh, my God is faithful! Even today, God is faithful in hearing my pleas and prayers. Despite my sin, my rebellion, my unworthiness of His mercy, forgiveness and love, He is faithful! My God is faithful! I praise Him for this day and His faithfulness today!
Today I am grateful for:
36. Another day with a job!
37. Sunshine to play outside in.
38. Hot dogs and hair cuts with my little man.
39. Beth Moore's wise words from Psalm 37.
40. God's faithfulness and love for someone such as I.
41. Warm bubble baths and hot tea.
42. My hunky, darling husband who has such faith- How I deserved him? God must think that I am precious to be given so great a man.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
God Who Are You? Bible Study
Who is God to me? This is a question I have been mulling over all week as I have undertaken this great online study. I don't know if all of my thoughts will totally make sense to anyone else.
Who is God to me? I have thought how I have viewed Him over my 40 plus years and how I view Him today.
God has always seemed larger than life to me. He is this huge presence that is watching me and keeping up with my good and bad deeds. He is ready to punish me or make things difficult when I don't do what is right. He provides for me wonderfully when I do what is good and right. I was afraid of Him - He knew my thoughts and words before I even thought or said them. With all of this though, I knew He loved me and I loved Him and wanted to please Him.
Then I understood more about the Trinity and the songs, "Jesus Is All the World to Me" and "Anywhere with Jesus", became my themed songs. I sung them all the time. What comfort and peace I felt when I sang these songs to myself and thought about the words. Jesus was my forever friend- He was my everything.
Now, I view God as my Creator and giver of life. He provided a way for my salvation. He is the only one that can provide me with the security and comfort that I need. He is the only one that can know me through and through. However, I still disappoint Him by not trusting Him totally. I take back control of my life decisions over and over thus falling into sin. I am stubborn and willful and do lots of things I know are not beneficial. I deserve any punishment, discipline, negative consequences as a result of my decisions. I still fear Him but also so love being able to crawl up into His lap and lay it all before Him. He is the Great Comforter- My Daddy - My Forever Friend.
I know of His great love for me because He has given me an amazing man for my lifelong partner in marriage (one I don't deserve) and after so many years of infertility, in His perfect timing, God has given me two awesome and beautiful children. I have been blessed by my Heavenly Father for reasons I don't quite understand because I am not deserving. I just know that despite my own failings, He never fails me- He is still all the world to me and I will go anywhere He leads me.
Who is God to me? I have thought how I have viewed Him over my 40 plus years and how I view Him today.
God has always seemed larger than life to me. He is this huge presence that is watching me and keeping up with my good and bad deeds. He is ready to punish me or make things difficult when I don't do what is right. He provides for me wonderfully when I do what is good and right. I was afraid of Him - He knew my thoughts and words before I even thought or said them. With all of this though, I knew He loved me and I loved Him and wanted to please Him.
Then I understood more about the Trinity and the songs, "Jesus Is All the World to Me" and "Anywhere with Jesus", became my themed songs. I sung them all the time. What comfort and peace I felt when I sang these songs to myself and thought about the words. Jesus was my forever friend- He was my everything.
Now, I view God as my Creator and giver of life. He provided a way for my salvation. He is the only one that can provide me with the security and comfort that I need. He is the only one that can know me through and through. However, I still disappoint Him by not trusting Him totally. I take back control of my life decisions over and over thus falling into sin. I am stubborn and willful and do lots of things I know are not beneficial. I deserve any punishment, discipline, negative consequences as a result of my decisions. I still fear Him but also so love being able to crawl up into His lap and lay it all before Him. He is the Great Comforter- My Daddy - My Forever Friend.
I know of His great love for me because He has given me an amazing man for my lifelong partner in marriage (one I don't deserve) and after so many years of infertility, in His perfect timing, God has given me two awesome and beautiful children. I have been blessed by my Heavenly Father for reasons I don't quite understand because I am not deserving. I just know that despite my own failings, He never fails me- He is still all the world to me and I will go anywhere He leads me.
Monday, February 8, 2010
God Who Are You? Bible Study
An online Bible study is getting underway this week! If you stumbled into my little blog, you can learn more about the study, download the study guide and view the weekly video here.... http://www.titus2atthewell.com/ I am anxious to join in as I really feel the need for feeding from God's Word. It is funny how I can be involved in ministry and lead ministry and even studies, yet I don't seem satisfied. Perhaps it is my own weakness that I don't take the time I need to really commune with God. I am getting chapters read and notes made for the next meeting. It has all become just another to do on my endless lists. My prayer is that this study will be a time without deadlines, a time when I can escape for a little while to the computer to watch the video and then spend my few minutes of quite time thinking, reading and praying about who God is amd how He fits into my life.
I am Mary Lynn, a so called stay-at-home mom of two (ages 4 and 6), Little Man is still at home and busting with energy and enthusiasm for all things mechanical, bouncing, and with wheels. Little Princess is in kindergarten. She is a very good student but would prefer to be home wearing her tiaras and playing with most things girlie- growing up is hard - for her and mommy. I am married for the last 18 years to my Prince Charming and best friend. I consider myself extremely blessed with a wonderful family. Currently, I keep way too busy with leading a MOPS ministry. I am retiring after this year as my season of life is changing rapidly. The majority of my "free" time is spent leading the early childhood ministry at our growing church. Getting everyone scheduled, and getting worship and small groups set up for Sunday services is a full time job. I have been put in a place where I can serve and influence in an area that I feel passionate about. However, I often feel torn between being a better mom and wife without the distractions and obligations elsewhere and using the talents and opportunities God has given me to lead other children to a life changing relationship with their forever friend, Jesus. My prayer is that I will be able to intentionally take time each week to watch the video and make the time of reflection and prayer a priority.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Taking the Challenge
With all the things I need to do as a mom, wife, ministry leader of not one but two ministries and eating, sleeping and the occassional shower, I too often lose the focus of my very existence. I feel quite lost in all of my endeavors because I am not staying as close to God through His Word and prayer. I try to find some time to read the Bible and pray in the mornings before kids get up- yeah, right, my early birds! But I often sit there trying to figure out where to start. I discovered this challenge at www.momstoolbox.com. I thought this would be a great way to start off the new year, refocusing my time with God with some structure and maybe some new bloggy friends to encourage me along the way. If you stumble across my ramblings, please feel free to join in.
Friday, November 6, 2009
Chapter Three-When I Feel Like I Don't Measure Up
Rewarding. That is what I thought motherhood, ministry, life in general was going to be. I would have it all and be all to all. That is where I get myself into trouble and find things less than rewarding often.
Like Lysa, I way too often do not get the Really Good Mommy Award or any other award other than the Biggest Joke of a (fill in the blank) award.
Like Lysa, though, I have these grand visions of how I am going to mother, keep house, manage things, scrapbook,and lead ministries.Because I, just like other moms, have a lot to juggle, I don't get everything done. But what frustrates me, is that I am an education major and all of these wonderful activities and experiences I wanted to do with me kids, all of the cute object lessons to teach them God's Word, all of the games we were going play just don't get done. Why? Did I mention that I lead two ministries that require my time and attention? A house, a husband, and every once in a while, I would love to take a bubble bath alone. After a while, I resent those ministries because they take me away from my kids, leave me grumpy and tired- no drained. I then resent or get frustrated more with the kids because their childishness interrupts my cleaning, my getting things done for ministries, my few stolen moments to chill. Yep, No Good Mommy Award, No Good Children's Ministry Leader Award,No Good Wife Award (I don't even want to start with that part of my life.) And in the end, the unmet expectations have piled on more and more guilt. These piles of quilt weigh me down and render me going through the motions or slugging half-heartedly through activities that are less than what I expected or wanted.
I love what Lysa says,"If Satan can use our everyday experiences, both big and small, to cripple our true identitiy, then he renders God's people totally ineffective for the kingdom of Christ."
That is me! I am totally feeling ineffective all the way around. I am just going through the motions of life. Living it day by day, week by week.On Sundays, I finish a day of children's worship and Bible study and managing the children's department that has take me virtually all week of thinking and preparing for, along with my children needing mommy with tears and whines and go home to be with family and face the unfinished laundry, meals that are needed, husband wanting my time and attention. Then on Monday morning, I realize I get to do it all over again. No wonder I hate Mondays! I have lost the joy of it all- mothering, children's ministry, my women's ministry, housekeeping, even scrapbooking. It all has become a chore, a source of guilt. I am ineffective for Christ in all things. Satan is totally loving me and my feelings of inadequacy! My question hasn't been,"Why doesn't Jesus work for me?" but "Where is Jesus in all of this mess?" Well, I know He is right there beside me. He has been present and working in spite of myself. I just need to trust that He can work through any of the situations. My circumstances and my identity seem so tightly wrapped up in each other. I have 2 kids/I am a mommy. I have a husband/I am a wife. I am a SAHM/I am home manager. I am ministry leader/I have or had a passion for the ministry. I am trying to figure out where my priorities are and how to best live this life. Jesus is my only ture measure of my worth. My shortcomings do not mean I have failed, it just means I need to step back and realign my priorities and allow Jesus and God to fill in the gaps where I don't measure up.
I mess up so many times in so many ways. I keep thinking that I should know better by now. I can do so much better, but yet again, I fall short. Lysa is right when she says,"The reason failure hurts is because we are trying so stinkin' hard to measure up." For though a righteous man falls seven times, he rises again, but the wicked are brought down by calamity. Proverbs 24:16 So I guess the lesson here is what my parents used to tell, "When you don't first succeed, try, try again." I am still mom, wife, ministry leader, scrapbooker, Christian, girly girl, but I am going to not measure up when I use my own measuring stick or the measuring stick of another mom, wife, ministry leader, etc. I need to use Christ as my measuring stick. "God never intended for us to rely on others for our sense of well-being. Only He is equipped to provide that." As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in My love. If you obey My commands, you will remain im My love, just as I have obeyed My Father's commands and remain in His love. I have told you this so that My joy may be in you and your joy may be complete. John 15:9-11
So now I am reminded to abide in Christ- to remain in Him- Stay close to Him-Trust Him-Obey Him-Stay faithful to His commands. It is when I keep close to Him that I find joy- that I find myself measuring up in life. I will still never be enough for everyone else just as they will never be enough for me. But with Christ's help, I can find more opportunities to recognize the rewards of my many roles in life.
Like Lysa, I way too often do not get the Really Good Mommy Award or any other award other than the Biggest Joke of a (fill in the blank) award.
Like Lysa, though, I have these grand visions of how I am going to mother, keep house, manage things, scrapbook,and lead ministries.Because I, just like other moms, have a lot to juggle, I don't get everything done. But what frustrates me, is that I am an education major and all of these wonderful activities and experiences I wanted to do with me kids, all of the cute object lessons to teach them God's Word, all of the games we were going play just don't get done. Why? Did I mention that I lead two ministries that require my time and attention? A house, a husband, and every once in a while, I would love to take a bubble bath alone. After a while, I resent those ministries because they take me away from my kids, leave me grumpy and tired- no drained. I then resent or get frustrated more with the kids because their childishness interrupts my cleaning, my getting things done for ministries, my few stolen moments to chill. Yep, No Good Mommy Award, No Good Children's Ministry Leader Award,No Good Wife Award (I don't even want to start with that part of my life.) And in the end, the unmet expectations have piled on more and more guilt. These piles of quilt weigh me down and render me going through the motions or slugging half-heartedly through activities that are less than what I expected or wanted.
I love what Lysa says,"If Satan can use our everyday experiences, both big and small, to cripple our true identitiy, then he renders God's people totally ineffective for the kingdom of Christ."
That is me! I am totally feeling ineffective all the way around. I am just going through the motions of life. Living it day by day, week by week.On Sundays, I finish a day of children's worship and Bible study and managing the children's department that has take me virtually all week of thinking and preparing for, along with my children needing mommy with tears and whines and go home to be with family and face the unfinished laundry, meals that are needed, husband wanting my time and attention. Then on Monday morning, I realize I get to do it all over again. No wonder I hate Mondays! I have lost the joy of it all- mothering, children's ministry, my women's ministry, housekeeping, even scrapbooking. It all has become a chore, a source of guilt. I am ineffective for Christ in all things. Satan is totally loving me and my feelings of inadequacy! My question hasn't been,"Why doesn't Jesus work for me?" but "Where is Jesus in all of this mess?" Well, I know He is right there beside me. He has been present and working in spite of myself. I just need to trust that He can work through any of the situations. My circumstances and my identity seem so tightly wrapped up in each other. I have 2 kids/I am a mommy. I have a husband/I am a wife. I am a SAHM/I am home manager. I am ministry leader/I have or had a passion for the ministry. I am trying to figure out where my priorities are and how to best live this life. Jesus is my only ture measure of my worth. My shortcomings do not mean I have failed, it just means I need to step back and realign my priorities and allow Jesus and God to fill in the gaps where I don't measure up.
I mess up so many times in so many ways. I keep thinking that I should know better by now. I can do so much better, but yet again, I fall short. Lysa is right when she says,"The reason failure hurts is because we are trying so stinkin' hard to measure up." For though a righteous man falls seven times, he rises again, but the wicked are brought down by calamity. Proverbs 24:16 So I guess the lesson here is what my parents used to tell, "When you don't first succeed, try, try again." I am still mom, wife, ministry leader, scrapbooker, Christian, girly girl, but I am going to not measure up when I use my own measuring stick or the measuring stick of another mom, wife, ministry leader, etc. I need to use Christ as my measuring stick. "God never intended for us to rely on others for our sense of well-being. Only He is equipped to provide that." As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in My love. If you obey My commands, you will remain im My love, just as I have obeyed My Father's commands and remain in His love. I have told you this so that My joy may be in you and your joy may be complete. John 15:9-11
So now I am reminded to abide in Christ- to remain in Him- Stay close to Him-Trust Him-Obey Him-Stay faithful to His commands. It is when I keep close to Him that I find joy- that I find myself measuring up in life. I will still never be enough for everyone else just as they will never be enough for me. But with Christ's help, I can find more opportunities to recognize the rewards of my many roles in life.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Chapter Two- Flitting To and Fro
Oh, to be school teacher! Oh, to be married to wonderful, godly hunk from Georgia Tech! Oh, to be a mommy! Oh, to be part of a successful children's ministry! Oh, to be caught up on all my scrapbooks! Oh, to.... I understand what Lysa describes as the emptiness that makes one "feel desperate, needy, complicated full of unrealistic expectations." All the things I thought would make me feel happy and fulfilled lead to disillusionment and disappointment. Then comes the guilt and the bad attitude which manifests itself in my impatience, grumpiness, lack of joy,etc. with my family and with my circumstances. I understand what she is talking about when she talks about things that "quicky went from blessings to burdens." Although knowing it is God that should be the sole source of filling me, I,too,seek out fulfillment from imperfect people like my darling and amazing husband and sweet children. When I no longer feel satisfied or fulfilled, have I ever looked for something else to make me feel significant? Who me? OH, NO! NOT ME! Yeah, my nose is about the length of the football field at Bobby Dodd Stadium! I tend to pour 150% of myself into any endeavor I chose to do such as MOPS, children's ministry and thus neglect the very ones I love the most. What happens then? Why these things are imperfect and involve imperfect people, and my life circumstances change and then I am disillusioned and left feeling as though I have failed everyone, I mean everyone, because my heart is no longer in it- I have lost my sense of purpose and focus. Then I begin searching for something else to make me feel significant. "Who (am) I to be working in a Christian ministry? Especially one that (teaches) women to love their husbands, nurture their children, and follow after God everyday?" Who am I to be working in a ministry that focuses on leading children to Christ? Lysa describes some of her adventures in trying to find her niche. I am laughing and crying at the same time! She is a good friend to give you a great tummy aching laugh! But she ends up expressing my feelings exactly.- How does she do that?! "I was a hollow woman, not a holy woman. I had said yes to Jesus being my Savior, but didn't have a clue how He could be the answer to my emptiness." There is no way that my husband, my kids, my position in ministry or my profession or my home and possessions can ever fill me. They will never be able to replace my feelings of insecurity or insignificance or my guilt. "No person, possession, profession or postion ever fills the cup of a wounded, empty heart" Anything, but God, is a poor substitute - a false god. I have always loved the story of Elijah and the prophets of Baal in 1 Kings 18. Lysa points out verse 29, "But there was no response, no one answered, no one paid attention." What a word picture is created concerning the false gods I have depended on to fill me. Those gods do not give me the response, answer and attention I need to fill me and make me feel complete. It is only God, my Heavenly Father that responds to me. He answers me. He is attention to me!
Have you ever said something to the effect, "If I only had .....,then I would be happy and satisfied." These "If only" statements trick us into putting our attention on obtaining those things instead of following hard after God. My "If only" statements have included, having a husband, having kids, getting into shape, getting my house in order, you get the idea. Getting these things still leaves me with a huge "hollow gap in (my) soul". Lysa suggests that instead of filling these statements with a person, possession, profession or postion, that we chose to fill the statements with something that would pull our hearts closer to God. "Since we cannot be pulled away from God and draw near to Him at the same time, speaking truth rights our perspectives and puts our focus where it should be."
It doesn't matter what the hollow gap is in my life, God is the perfect, the only thing that can fill that emptiness. When I replace my false gods with scripture truths, I will not feel that gap in my life. God's Word is the filter through which we should look at all of the day's events, our responses to situations, etc. God's Word causes changes in my attitudes, motives, desires, actions, words, and priorities. It rearranges my very existence. "As long as I daily make the choice to be guided by His truth, He replaces my hollowness with a wholeness of love that has no gaps." It is a choice, an intentional choice. It is a choice that must be made daily and often several times a day. Taking time each day to recognize my blessings and to appreciate and feel thankful for the people most important to me, is something I don't do often enough. The years are speeding by and I am too busy with my "If onlys" to enjoy what I have been blessed with- family, kids, husband, opportunities, salvation, life....Lysa describes it much better. "Maybe this is the true secret to being fulfilled and content. Living in the moment with God, defined by His truth, and with no unrealistic expectations for others or things to fill me up. Not reaching back for what was lost in my yesterdays. And not reaching for what I hope will be in my tomorrow. But living fully with what is right in front of me. And truly seeing the gift of this moment." Intentionally living now with all the circumstances and imperfect people I have been blessed with. Striving everyday to see God, hear God, know God and follow hard after Him. Then my hollowness will be replaced with a desire for holiness, too.
Have you ever said something to the effect, "If I only had .....,then I would be happy and satisfied." These "If only" statements trick us into putting our attention on obtaining those things instead of following hard after God. My "If only" statements have included, having a husband, having kids, getting into shape, getting my house in order, you get the idea. Getting these things still leaves me with a huge "hollow gap in (my) soul". Lysa suggests that instead of filling these statements with a person, possession, profession or postion, that we chose to fill the statements with something that would pull our hearts closer to God. "Since we cannot be pulled away from God and draw near to Him at the same time, speaking truth rights our perspectives and puts our focus where it should be."
It doesn't matter what the hollow gap is in my life, God is the perfect, the only thing that can fill that emptiness. When I replace my false gods with scripture truths, I will not feel that gap in my life. God's Word is the filter through which we should look at all of the day's events, our responses to situations, etc. God's Word causes changes in my attitudes, motives, desires, actions, words, and priorities. It rearranges my very existence. "As long as I daily make the choice to be guided by His truth, He replaces my hollowness with a wholeness of love that has no gaps." It is a choice, an intentional choice. It is a choice that must be made daily and often several times a day. Taking time each day to recognize my blessings and to appreciate and feel thankful for the people most important to me, is something I don't do often enough. The years are speeding by and I am too busy with my "If onlys" to enjoy what I have been blessed with- family, kids, husband, opportunities, salvation, life....Lysa describes it much better. "Maybe this is the true secret to being fulfilled and content. Living in the moment with God, defined by His truth, and with no unrealistic expectations for others or things to fill me up. Not reaching back for what was lost in my yesterdays. And not reaching for what I hope will be in my tomorrow. But living fully with what is right in front of me. And truly seeing the gift of this moment." Intentionally living now with all the circumstances and imperfect people I have been blessed with. Striving everyday to see God, hear God, know God and follow hard after Him. Then my hollowness will be replaced with a desire for holiness, too.
Chapter One- Trying to Be Good Enough
In her book, Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl,Lysa TerKeurst talks about the labels she tried on growing up to find her identity. I, too, have had many labels that shaped and continue to shape my identity. Daughter, quiet girl, "goody-two shoes", bookworm, honor student, responsible, in demand babysitter, organized, wife, teacher, supermom, volunteer extraordinaire,etc. All of these labels came with expectations for my actions, attitudes, responses that I felt like I had to live up to. Not much room was left for feeling or worse revealing that I had so many shortcomings, weaknesses, failings, imperfections. Yes, I admit that I am absolutely and have absolutely never, ever been the perfect child, wife, mom, Christian or human being. Often feelings of loneliness, not fitting in or being unworthy to participate overcome me. With the perceptions and labels I wear, who really is interested in listening to my weaknesses and failures. No one expects me to be struggling with anything- I have everything altogether. If they only knew how many times I drop my basket in the course of the day!
I love the verse from Jeremiah that Lysa shares. I have this verse written out on index cards for a reminder that someone knows that I am imperfect and how many times my basket is dropped. He cares immensely for me despite every last little flaw and He alone makes me perfect. Jeremiah 29:12-13 "Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."
I grew up going to church, Christian schools, marrying a good Christian man, serving in ministries, attending all the Bible studies and women's events like a good Bible study girl should do, yet, I still feel unfulfilled. Seeking with all your heart requires more than just the routine Christian good girl checklist. Okay, so there Lysa just Moonwalked on my toes. Lysa goes on to talk about fulfillment. Fulfillment is to be completely satisfied, filled up, not discontented. I, too, want a more fulfilling relationship with Christ. I want to be assured that despite my failures and shortcomings, I have the security of knowing that He is there with me in all circumstances in life.
Lysa asks "How might (my) life look if (I) am so filled with God's truths (I) could let go of the pain of (my) past, not get tripped up by the troubles of today, or consumed by worries of tomorrow?" Going through the motions of the good Bible study girl checklist is not enough. I need to have the mindset that God will meet me where I am when I cry out to Him with heart that if so filled with the desire to go into a much deeper, authentic, life changing relationship with Him.
What has typically made me feel fulfilled? Academic successes, career as a teacher, mommyhood, being a wife, ministry leader, etc. But none of these things were ever the source of true fulfillment. Too quickly, I become disillusioned and feel like a failure as I deal with imperfect people, encountering someone I deem superior or more successful than myself. Oh, how pride takes hold of my heart. I will never be "enough" in my ideals of fulfillment. I will never be enough of a good wife, mother, ministry leader, teacher, daughter, sister, good Bible study girl to find true fulfillment- I will forever fall short! I love and appreciate Lysa's heartfelt and genuine desire to help women become closer to Christ. This is my prayer for myself and others "God, will You help me to have a deeper connection with You and find truer fulfillment as You transform every area of my life.That is the cry and the desire of my heart." and "God, I want to see You. God, I want to hear You. God, I want to know You. So that I can follow hard after You everyday." I love those last four statements she wrote. In her book, What Happens When Women Say Yes to God she shared this prayer. I copied this also on my index cards to read and pray. So simple and so much what I desire to do each day. She finishes the chapter with Colossians 3:1-2 "Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things." Lysa concludes by saying,"Setting our hearts and our minds on God and letting His truths change us, rearrange us, and redirect us will help us not just to know the message of Christ - but to live it out!" Change me, rearrange me, redirect me to know and live Christ each day. Please, Lord!
All scripture and quotes from the book are in italics. Any of my changes are in parentheses or boldface.
I love the verse from Jeremiah that Lysa shares. I have this verse written out on index cards for a reminder that someone knows that I am imperfect and how many times my basket is dropped. He cares immensely for me despite every last little flaw and He alone makes me perfect. Jeremiah 29:12-13 "Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."
I grew up going to church, Christian schools, marrying a good Christian man, serving in ministries, attending all the Bible studies and women's events like a good Bible study girl should do, yet, I still feel unfulfilled. Seeking with all your heart requires more than just the routine Christian good girl checklist. Okay, so there Lysa just Moonwalked on my toes. Lysa goes on to talk about fulfillment. Fulfillment is to be completely satisfied, filled up, not discontented. I, too, want a more fulfilling relationship with Christ. I want to be assured that despite my failures and shortcomings, I have the security of knowing that He is there with me in all circumstances in life.
Lysa asks "How might (my) life look if (I) am so filled with God's truths (I) could let go of the pain of (my) past, not get tripped up by the troubles of today, or consumed by worries of tomorrow?" Going through the motions of the good Bible study girl checklist is not enough. I need to have the mindset that God will meet me where I am when I cry out to Him with heart that if so filled with the desire to go into a much deeper, authentic, life changing relationship with Him.
What has typically made me feel fulfilled? Academic successes, career as a teacher, mommyhood, being a wife, ministry leader, etc. But none of these things were ever the source of true fulfillment. Too quickly, I become disillusioned and feel like a failure as I deal with imperfect people, encountering someone I deem superior or more successful than myself. Oh, how pride takes hold of my heart. I will never be "enough" in my ideals of fulfillment. I will never be enough of a good wife, mother, ministry leader, teacher, daughter, sister, good Bible study girl to find true fulfillment- I will forever fall short! I love and appreciate Lysa's heartfelt and genuine desire to help women become closer to Christ. This is my prayer for myself and others "God, will You help me to have a deeper connection with You and find truer fulfillment as You transform every area of my life.That is the cry and the desire of my heart." and "God, I want to see You. God, I want to hear You. God, I want to know You. So that I can follow hard after You everyday." I love those last four statements she wrote. In her book, What Happens When Women Say Yes to God she shared this prayer. I copied this also on my index cards to read and pray. So simple and so much what I desire to do each day. She finishes the chapter with Colossians 3:1-2 "Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things." Lysa concludes by saying,"Setting our hearts and our minds on God and letting His truths change us, rearrange us, and redirect us will help us not just to know the message of Christ - but to live it out!" Change me, rearrange me, redirect me to know and live Christ each day. Please, Lord!
All scripture and quotes from the book are in italics. Any of my changes are in parentheses or boldface.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
More than a Good Bible Study Girl
One of my absolute favorite bloggy girlfriends is Lysa Terkeurst! Although we have never met, I feel like I have known her forever. She is an amazingly authentic, down-to-earth girl who loves the Lord like no one else's business and wants to help others love Him the same way. I have had the privelege of reading several of her books, like What Happens When a Woman Says Yes to God and Help! My Bathtub is Overflowing!, so when I heard that her newest book was going to be released in the summer, I pre-ordered it and nearly danced down the driveway when it arrived. The book is wonderful!! I am in the midst of rereading it and now beginning an online study of the book. I hope to get the accompanying CD after the first of the year and perhaps even lead my own study of the book. Why do I love the book so much? I am glad you asked! You see, I too, have a way of playing at religion or more accurately playing games with my relationship with Jesus. I love me some check lists and to do lists and my past history has proven I can mark off the right religious activities with the best of them and still feel so alone and fake in my walk with God.
Although I have never faced the exact life situations - actually my childhood and early adult life was quite opposite of Lysa's but still many of the feelings and thoughts have been exactly as Lysa describes. I do relate in feeling far away from God, unlovable to Him or anyone else, seeking love and acceptance in all the wrong places and then the consequences.Oh my, consequences that come with guilt and shame, secrets and darkness.
So I am anxious to share many of my thoughts in this online journal- but as you know, sometimes with little ones and life crowding in, the actual composing comes slow. I wish there was a way to type my thoughts as I read and ponder all that she and God say about becoming More than a Good Bible Study Girl. If you are seeking to go deeper in an authentic relationship with God or looking to start out walking with God, this book is great!
By the way, did I mention she is a girl from the 80s? Oh, yeah, Lysa and I could really have some serious discussions about all things 80s and we could show these kids today how to really roller skate, especially to Rick Springfield's Jesse's Girl or Debbie Gibson.
Although I have never faced the exact life situations - actually my childhood and early adult life was quite opposite of Lysa's but still many of the feelings and thoughts have been exactly as Lysa describes. I do relate in feeling far away from God, unlovable to Him or anyone else, seeking love and acceptance in all the wrong places and then the consequences.Oh my, consequences that come with guilt and shame, secrets and darkness.
So I am anxious to share many of my thoughts in this online journal- but as you know, sometimes with little ones and life crowding in, the actual composing comes slow. I wish there was a way to type my thoughts as I read and ponder all that she and God say about becoming More than a Good Bible Study Girl. If you are seeking to go deeper in an authentic relationship with God or looking to start out walking with God, this book is great!
By the way, did I mention she is a girl from the 80s? Oh, yeah, Lysa and I could really have some serious discussions about all things 80s and we could show these kids today how to really roller skate, especially to Rick Springfield's Jesse's Girl or Debbie Gibson.
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