So Much More.....

Wow! I can't believe how long it has been that I have had time or the presence of mind to stop in and just ramble.
God has been good! For the past year, we have prayed for God's provision of a better job situation for hubby. God decided in August to answer not with "It is okay - things will better where you are" Nor did He get my memo about south of the Mason-Dixon. No, ma'am! He has been opening doors for a life in Ohio! The Cleveland area!!! We are trading in our Callaway Garden passes for Niagra Falls passes. We are that close for daytrips! This should be quite an adventure and a challenge for a southern girl who lives in her flip flops and crop pants. The kids are excited though! Snow! No school uniforms! A possible basement to play in! They are really excited! I would be more excited except I am quite worried about selling our beloved little house here in Georgia. Everyday someone has asked if we have had any interest and everyday I must say "No". Not one looker except the one fellow Dana hired before he left the company. We weren't what he wanted. He was very kind to endure a tour.
God has been taking some of this time with Dana being gone- Yes, he has been in Ohio since the early part of Sept. working and living in a little furnished apt. We see him every other weekend. But God has been working on my heart. It has been so hard and so necessary. I don't know that He is done with me yet or not. I will confess that I have not been obedient to Him and the consequences are hard.
I have really tried to dig into the Word and spend lots more time talking to Him. I have even arranged things or rather made it a priority to make it to worship every week. The children's ministry will have to get along without me soon enough. That is another chapter in this story. I have been so dry and am thirsty - longing for time with God. I am undeserving!
I will share some of the Word spoken to me- I can't explain my thoughts on it totally yet here but Psalms 25 and Isaiah 30:15-21;29. Especially verse 21 "This is the Way, Walk in it." It is amazing how many times God has put that verse in front of me in the last weeks. I am always amazed at how He uses others to do His teaching and prodding. These are just a few of the scriptures I have spent time with.
God has provided with a good candidate to take my place in Kidsville. I love kidmin. I don't know if that is where God will lead me in the future. I have a lot of maturing to do though. I am at peace in some aspects of leaving Kidsville and all the kids and my team behind. There is another mission field for me to work in up in Ohio. I am not certain where God is leading me. I will have lots to pray about and try to clearly discern what God is leading me to do there. I know it very well may not be in leadership as a kidmin but it isn't about leading. I just want to teach and help little ones and their families.
I have come to the understanding that while we hae been praying for provision in Dana's job and for our family. God was answering this prayer as "Yes, I will provide Dana with a new job (in Ohio) and I will provide your family with what is needed... a mommy that can be singularly focused on God and family again... at least for a season." I have been so wrapped up and out of kilter because of kidmin and MOPS that I ministered great to other kids and families but my own has been robbed. Oh, the difficulty in knowing that fully. God has asked me to be obedient to Him and to walk in faith. I am actually looking forward to curling up on my couch on a cold and snowy day in February under my warmest blankie with my hot chocolate and just spending time talking to God and reading more about what He wants me to know. I don't know if it will be in my own house or a rented house or small apartment. It won't matter. The ultimate goal is for my family to be together as one - healthy and content in our new life as Ohioians or whatever. God has been so good in so much so far. I will Trust and Obey Him! To Him I Surrender All! What an adventure that lies ahead of us. God is good although He does have a great sense of humor- Flip flops in snow?? Do they have grits up there? He will provide as always... Maybe Grit Trees are indigeneous to Ohio......

I am thankful for .....
1. a job in Ohio
2. a family that longs to be together
3. my friend who is willing to lead in kidmin
4. friends who come over at 6am to help with garage sales
5. a house to sell in Ga
6. a realator working for us in Ohio
7. amazing ways God provides for us.
8. bloggy friends -yet unmet in Ohio waiting to help us.
9. the adventure that lies ahead
10. God behind me whispering in my ear and heart
11. the hard stuff
12. the soft landings
13. grace beyond imagining
14. fall football
15. flip flops
16. crop pants
17. grits
18. Fed Ex for BBQ deliveries
19. hot chocolate
20. warm blankies
21. snowy days with God
22. happy kids
23. time with God
24. worship
25. hubby that loves and misses us
26. loving and missing hubby as much or more
27. opportunities provided to serve in kidmin
28. the opportunities ahead
29. a family to serve and minister
30. SO MUCH MORE......

God is Near- Rejoice!

Philippians 4:4-7 (New International Version)
4Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Rejoice in the Lord for He is near. Even in times of trouble and anxiety the Lord is near. Rejoice and with thanksgiving bring the Lord my troubles and trials. Rejoice for He is near and ready to handle it all for me. This is a time to feel His presence and to allow Him to shape me into the girl He wants me to be. He is near. He hears my requests and cries, even if I feel unworthy and undeserving. He is near. Feel His peace, His comfort, His presence in my life. He is near. I can not control anything and when things seem to be on the verge of collapse or even when everything is out of control in my life, He is near. He is in control of it all. I may not understand the plan or the reasons, but He is near and He is in control. He is near. Rejoice - Again, Rejoice in it all! Even when I don't feel like rejoicing, Rejoice, He is near!

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (New International Version)
16Be joyful always; 17pray continually; 18give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

71. My incredibly amazing and hunky husband
72. A beautiful little girl full of laughter and love
73. An adorable little boy who loves his mommy very much
74. Three devoted felines, ever patient and loyal
75. The homey and comforting feeling generated by sun as it reflects in the afternoon on the fireplace mantle
76. The diamonds created on the pond by the same sun throughout the day
77. The wildlife enjoying food, water, shelter and the freedom to play provided by the pond and the trees in our backyard
78. Safe travels for our family
79. Hubby's job
80. Anticipation of reuniting with family in summer
81. Peace and Comfort in knowing God is near
82. Comfort of soft jammies and my bed
83. Praise and worship music by Kari Jobe and Travis Cottrell
84. Resolve in being the mom, wife and child of God only I can be
85. Peace in knowing that is what my ministry really is
86. Joy in starting a new Bible study in the book of Ruth
87. Quiet reading of Southern Sister novel by Anne George
88. Hearing amazing hubby call me incredibly beautful woman and children darling before good night
89. Knowing God is near and waiting on me to decide to be still and wait on Him
90. A passion/desire for children and family ministry despite not knowing where the passion/desire should lead me
91. For each of my struggles today - I give thanks
92. My inability to control and fix things for hubby
93. God's perfect ability to control and arrange things
94. For God's perfect will for me and my precious family
95. God's love, presence and comfort by staying near to us

First, Let Me.....

Yesterday, my Proverbs 31 Ministry devotional arrived in my inbox with Hold That Thought! as the title. I quickly scanned it and found as usual, but in a particularly strong way, it strike a chord within me. So, I printed it out with the intentions of reading it more intentionally and meditating on it later in the day- when all was quieter. At the time, one screaming baby and two rambunctious kiddos were afoot. Well, needless to say, my day quickly fell apart. At the end of the day, I had sent my first born off to her first church camp, soothed and comforted the little brother left behind, cared for a friend's newborn, picked up Co-op veges, dealt with many phone calls and computer scans that are brought on by a very nasty link sent to ALL of my contacts without my knowledge and definitely without my permission. Laundry still in the dryer, dishes in the dishwasher and sink and ministry emails unsent, devotional not read, meditated on and with the exception of a few prayers sprinted upward in the day as the chaos spilt out, time with God was again last on my list.
All that is said not because I wanted to share my crazy, harried day, but to give one snippet of the things that end up ahead of God in my life. You see, everyday I am dealing with laundry, dishes, menu, fussing, crying, needy children, some errand or other responsibility that screams for my attention and action. Everyday I end up telling God, "First, let me....then I will sit and talk to You. I will then let You talk to Me after I .....". This is exactly what Luanne Prater was talking about in her Proverbs 31 devotional. Putting God second, third, fourth, etc. on the list of things to do and He never gets to on the list.
Like a Good Bible Study Girl, I know better. I know what I need to do. But it is so stinking hard! I have quite a few things I need to change including, developing a new ability to say NO! to additional commitments no matter how good they seem to be. I need to trust others to do the jobs I have been doing. Pray for more leaders to take over some of the tasks I do. Basically, learn or execute some improved leadership skills. My priorities are upside down, inside out, backwards, twisted, out of proportions.
Am I surprised that I feel used up, dry, lost, desperate for God? God made us to need Him, to worship Him, to rely on Him for our every need. I am and have been trying to do everything on my own again and call on Him in my spare time for a that bonus time. Now I know that I can't just dump everything I am committed to or tell everyone who depends on me to deal with it. My kids and husband do need the Mommy around. But I can start by making some better choices by saying, "First, let me spend time with my Father God, then I will...... I will .......after God and I have our time together talking."
This morning as I debated getting up at 5:30am to have that time with God. (My lazy bones won. Hence, exercise and better bedtime hours are needed choices). I tuned into a station that shows nature scenes with scripture and soothing worship music. My eyes managed to focus on a verse that encouraged me to find yesterday's devotional right away.
Psalms 143:8 Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.
What this verse tells me that first thing in the morning I need to sit down so that God can speak to me through His Word, the Bible. I need to be reminded first thing in the morning that God's love will never be taken away from me. He is faithful to provide what I need for the day if I seek Him first (Matt. 6:33),First thing in the morning to start my day off right. He will give me the strength and ability to accomplish what I should be focused on for that day. By seeking His Will for my day, He will show me what/who needs my attention for the day. I will more likely find the blessings or "manna" from heaven that I can be joyful and thankful for throughout the day. I will be able to recognize God's presence in my life and my kids and others wil likely be able to see God do some amazing things in the midst of doing life. I just need to give God my first moments of the day.
I long so for that comfort and reasurance that only God can give. Today's Proverbs 31Ministry devotional by Lysa TerKeurst showed up in my inbox with some thoughts about that. It goes hand in hand with yesterday's thoughts and the verse from Psalms 143. Read the whole Psalm 143 though first and well, God is speaking to me. It is great when I say, "First, let me read this in the Bible, then I will ....." Please don't be offended if I put you off till later in the day or the week or even say "No, I can't". You see, I NEED God to come first in my daily, crazy, harried, busy mommy/wife/ministry leader/etc. life.

Swagger Wagon

This video has provided so much fun and amusement for us the last couple of weeks. It is so funny because it is so true on lots of different levels. I love the fact that I have a mini van filled with littles and their stuff. I love that hubby and I have progressed in life to raising littles. It is a ton of tiring work but wouldn't trade it in for anything. Now I can't sing or rap like these parents do but my kids do put up with my singing and think I am pretty neat most days.(They are little still). Now to get the dangling pacifier for my rearview mirror.

Plan B

Pete Wilson, Christian blogger on WithoutWax and Senior Pastor at Crosspoint Church, just came out with his first book, Plan B.
I haven't read it yet, but these quotes shared by another blogger are worth thinking about and finding encouragement and hope in God's Word that He is in charge of all things.

"We are going to all get to that place where life hurts and our hearts are broken.
We are all going to find ourselves in the middle of a Plan B… 


Being a Christian doesn’t change this reality at all.”

How do you reconcile two seemingly unmixable things--
on one side you have a God who is all loving all powerful and
on the other side, life that's full of disappointment, crisis and hurt?"

"We must be willing if necessary to abandon the life we planned and dreamed in order to receive the life that our God authored for us."

"Faith is saying I choose to believe in you, God, more than this or that tragedy."

"The choice of faith is the fundamental choice that changes everything in our Plan Bs because it changes who we become."

"The wall is the place where I must relinquish what I cling to for identity... Please understand, please prepare yourself because if you haven't come up against the wall yet, you will eventually."

When Everything Falls Apart

Life hasn't always worked out the way I had it all planned. Plan B,C,D,E,F,.....Z are often employed. I know that God's ways and plans are better than mine. I know more often than I care to admit, that I interrupt His best plans for me, with my rebellion, disobedience and independent ways.
Right now, I am struggling with trusting Him totally. I can give a lot of lip service to trust in Him always in all things. But when it comes down to it. I don't think I do a good job with trust always in all. There is that nagging fear or worry that the shoe is going to drop, the inevitable is about to happen, the worst case scenario is about to become reality that haunts me. If I am being haunted or thinking on these things do I really trust? Can I trust or rather will I trust God when everything falls apart in my world? Will it be the end of the world if things become tough, not as I planned? If my happiness, peace, security in this world relies on my plans for life, I may be in for a large dose of grief. How do I focus on God's love and provision for me? He has never failed me in the past, even when my plans so miserably failed. I know what I should do, but I need the discipline and the desire to really do it before everything does fall apart.

More than a Good Bible Study Girl

This book is an amazing book! I love Lysa' stories about the 80s and family living, but more importantly, she writes about the same issues and struggles I face in my daily walk with God. I, too, feel a lot of doubt about my relationship with God. How can I matter to Him? I am so much of a mess and a failure. Yet, Lysa helps redirect my study and thinking to God's Word. Through her writing, she challenges me to become more than a girl who has a stack of devotional books, attends/leads Bible studies, do a lot of church activities and have a completely checked off to do list. She challenges me to strive to live my faith rather than add to my resume of Good Bible Study Girl. A life with God is so much more than my check list!