Tuesday, December 7, 2010


It has been a good day but a hard day. I know that I don't really have to pack boxes, but doing so gives me a little control over things right now. It is something tangible and real. It also gives me a chance to realize that we are really leaving our little house on the pond, our church and the safety of things known and comfortable. But God is not calling us to be comfortable right now. A verse that I was given not to long ago is:

 20 You will be like the person who tried to sleep
       on a bed that was too short
    and with a blanket that was too narrow
       to wrap around himself. (Isaiah 28:20, New Century Version)

This is what I feel like right now. Someone trying to sleep on a bed that is just too short for them. I sometimes have to lie down with little man on his small youth bed. If I do fall asleep, I usually wake up with a crick in my neck or stiff in the legs from being scrunched on the too small bed. It is just not comfortable and a good rest is hard to get in that bed situation.
Now the covers are a big deal to me. If I am cold, I need to be covered with lots of warm blankets, but if it is too much I get overheated and wake up sweating. Not enough covers, even in the summer, is not a good thing either. I need just the right amount of covers. I used to travel with a blanket so if I got cold I could cover up. The problem was that the blanket was really too small to do much good. A sweater would have been just as good. When I am tired and cold, I want comfort for sweet, restful, peaceful time of being.
Right now, my life feels like a too short bed. As much as I try to rest and turn this way and that, I find that I am scrunched for time, patience, peace, good feelings - generally a peace and happiness. My days are sometimes filled with my pains in the neck and sick feelings in my stomach than anything else. As much as I would like to curl up under the shelter of a nice and cuddly blanket that fully covers me and my family, I seem to feel lots of drafts - emptiness, gaps. Primarily caused by worry, anxiety, stress, - realization of sin and lack of dependance on God.
Yep, I am in a time right now where my bed is too short and the blanket just doesn't seem to be enough. I do know this though, God is near. He has never left me. I may have - did - move away from Him, but He has always been near me. God has us on this short bed for a reason. I don't fully understand why, but He has us there for now and with a small blanket. He has the blanket that fully covers us though. He has grace, mercy and salvation. For now, I need to continue to find things to praise Him for, to thank Him for. It is with the perspective that things could be worse, at least we don't..... that help me through the days. Naming my manna - my blessings and surrounding myself and filling my thoughts with things that pure, lovely, true, praiseworthy and excellent help.
This has been a hard day but a good day. Boxes packed- I have way too many clothes! We have way too much stuff in general. I am overwhelmed by it all - focus on true, lovely, praiseworthy.... I have lots to do - lots I really don't want to face but glad that at the same time.

1. A job that provides income
2. A little rental house
3. A realtor- I count as a new friend
4. New friends to meet
5. New opportunities
6. The little house on the pond
7. Heat
8. Boxes to pack in
9. Nice clothes to pack
10. Memories
11. New adventures
12. Snow
13 Mid- 40s
14. Hubby that misses us
15. Kitties 3
16. Tears
17. Old friends
18. Opportunities past
19. Comfortable life situations
20. Repentance
21. Dependance on God
22. God's faithfulness
23. God's grace
24. Mercy
25. Salvation paid at a great price
26. Holiday lights
27. Holiday music
28. Kids' anticipation of Christmas
29. God is my portion
30. A new day- a do over
31. Comfortable bed
32. Warm blankets
33. A few hours of sleep
34. Hope
35. Peace
36. Joy
37. A Christmas Elf
38. Warm coffee
39. Cold Dr. Pepper
40. Children 2

No comments:

Post a Comment