Sunday, May 24, 2009

Good Intentions

I have spent a lot of time lately composing posts in my head. Why is it that I get inspired when I am not near a computer or have the opportunity to sit down and type for a few minutes?

My favorite word is "intentional". I just love that word! Intentional means with a focused purpose. I have advocated being intentional about everything; marriage, parenting, spending time with God, fianances, time for myself, ministry. I have spent a lot of time in self-evaluation lately. Hence, those wonderful posts that will never see a computer screen. As a result of the evaluations to date, I discovered this horrible truth. Despite how much I want to be intentional, I have never been intentional at all! Now I could beat myself up and I have done quite a bit of that lately. But I have decided to make some changes in my life to become more intentional in living.
What I also discovered that I can not do this alone. That has been my problem all along. My "Miss I Can Do It Myself- I Can Figure This Out" self has failed miserably in all aspects of going it alone. I can not make a schedule and keep it without some guidance and discernment provided to me by God. He alone knows my every weakness and He alone can make me strong where I am weak.
I am thankful for a God who can forgive me for my sinful, selfish, pride-filled life. I am thankful that despite my failure to be intentional and do all things in life with a focused purpose that I do not have to give up. I can start again and this time intentionally seeking God's direction in all things. He alone will supply me with all I need to be the kind of wife, mommy, ministry leader, Christian I need to be.

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